I don't know where it started. Somewhere between moving to Vegas, learning to bead, realizing my daughter no longer needed me and understanding what "disabled" really meant I discovered I was alone, again. I mean I have the usual friends and distant friends and family and distant family but when I open my eyes in the morning I understand if I decide to spend the day in the bed, without brushing my teeth or even putting on a nightgown (Yes!) no one would know or care. So, now I've had to learn to live, with purpose, for something, without my usual mobility, all over again. It really sucks.
Passion is so much easier to find when you're young, or a Mom, or someone else's lifeline. The paths are easier to define and seem more important. As you get older and your responsibility ratio lowers, you accept that you're just one person. It takes your own private pep squad to send you out there day after day attempting to re-define and make your "mark".
So...today is the day. I will attempt to be my own cheering section and re-define my afterlife . I mean LIFE after, family, school, marriage, divorce, motherhood, work and old goals. This may/will be messy.
